You are Divorced! Divorced! Divorced!
These have become the most dreaded three words that any Muslim woman can hear in her lifetime, for they signify not only the end of her marriage, but a hard and difficult road ahead where she has to re-build her entire life when the only foundation she has spent years building has just fallen away.
Can it really be so simple? Can years of building, sharing and loving be shattered beyond repair by the mere utterance of words?
Is it that Allah’s system which rules our lives and the universe fails us at this moment we need it most and leave a wife without a marriage and leaves children without a family?
Surely this cannot be the way of the Quran from which only happiness and justice can be wrought?
Let us take a look together and examine this important, yet ignored topic from Allah’s divine inspiration, The Quran.
“And the divorced women shall hold themselves for three menstruation periods; and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would then have just cause to return together, if they both wish to reconcile. And for what obligations the women are owed, so similarly must they fulfill their obligations. But the men will have a greater responsibility over them in this. And Allah is Noble, Wise.” (Quran 2:228)
“The divorce is allowed twice. So, either they reconcile equitably, or they part-ways with kindness. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given the women unless you fear that they will not uphold Allah’s limits. So if you fear that they will not uphold Allah’s limits, then there is no sin upon them for what is given back. These are Allah’s limits so do not transgress them. And whoever shall transgress Allah’s limits, then these are the wicked.” (Quran 2:229)
“So if he still divorces her again, then she will not be lawful for him until she has married another husband. If the other husband divorces her, then there is no sin that they come back together if they think they will uphold Allah’s limits. These are Allah’s limits, He clarifies them for a people that know.” (Quran 2:230)
“And if you have divorced the women, and they have reached their required interim period, then either you reconcile with them equitably, or part-ways equitably. And do not reconcile with them so you can harm them out of animosity; whoever does so is doing wickedness to his soul; and do not take Allah’s revelations lightly. And remember Allah’s blessings towards you, and what was sent down to you of the Scripture and the wisdom, He warns you with it. And be aware of Allah and know that Allah is Knowledgeable in all things.” (Quran 2:231)
“And if you divorce the women, and they have reached their required interim period, then do not prevent them from remarrying their husbands if they amicably agree amongst themselves out of what is best. This is to remind any of you who believe in Allah and the Last Day, this is better for you and purer; and Allah knows while you do not know.” (Quran 2:232)
“O you who believe, if you marry the believing women, then divorced them before having intercourse with them, then there is no interim required of them. You shall compensate them, and let them go in an amicable manner.” (Quran 33:49)
“O you prophet, if any of you have divorced the women, then they should be divorced while ensuring that their required interim is fulfilled, and keep count of the interim. You shall reverence Allah your Lord, and do not evict the women from their homes, nor should they leave, unless they have committed a proven adultery. And these are Allah’s limits. And anyone who transgresses Allah’s limits has wronged his soul. You never know; perhaps Allah will make something come out of this.” (Quran 65:1)
“Then, once the interim is fulfilled, either you reconcile with them equitably, or part-ways equitably and have it witnessed by two just people from among you; and give the testimony for Allah. This is to enlighten those who believe in Allah and the Last Day. And whosoever reverences Allah, He will create a solution for him.” (Quran 65:2)
“And He will provide for him whence he never expected. Anyone who puts his trust in Allah, then He suffices him. Allah’s commands will be done. Allah has decreed for everything its fate.” (Quran 65:3)
“As for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their interim shall be three months. And as for those whose menstruation has ceased, and those who are already pregnant, their interim is until they give birth. And anyone who reverences Allah, He makes his matters easy for him.” (Quran 65:4)
“This is Allah’s command that He sends down to you. And anyone who is aware of Allah, He remits his sins, and will improve his reward.” (Quran 65:5)
“You shall let them reside in the home you were in when you were together, and do not coerce them to make them leave. And if they are pregnant, you shall spend on them until they give birth. Then, if they nurse the infant, you shall pay them their due for such. And you shall maintain the amicable relations between you. If you disagree, then another woman may nurse the child.” (Quran 65:6)
A SUMMARY OF THE RULES FOR DIVORCE:
If the couple insist on divorce, then the wife and husband are to remain together in the same home until the ‘interim-period’ is complete (Quran 65:1)
If the couple reconcile, then divorce may be retracted and cancelled at any point during the interim period. (Quran 2:229)
The divorce is automatically retracted if sexual intercourse takes place between the husband and wife during the interim period. (Quran 65:1)
The interim period required is three menstruation periods. The interim for women who no longer menstruate is three months. The interim for pregnant women is until they deliver (Quran 2:228, 65:4)
There is no interim period required if the divorce takes place while no sexual intercourse has ever taken place between the couple. (Quran 33:49)
If the couple still wishes to follow through with the divorce after the end of the interim period, then two witnesses are required to complete the process. (Quran 65:2)
If this is the 3rd divorce, then the couple may not remarry each other unless the woman has been married to another man and then divorced. (Quran 2:230)
FINAL RULE (DO NOT PLAY WITH ALLAH’S SYSTEM):
“And if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim, you must reconcile with them equitably, or go through with the separation equitably. DO NOT reconcile with them to hurt them. And whosoever does this has wronged himself. DO NOT take ALLAH’s revelations in vain. Remember ALLAH’s blessings upon you, and that He sent down to you the scripture and wisdom to enlighten you. You shall observe ALLAH, and know that ALLAH is aware of all things.” (2/231)
TIPS FROM THE QURAN:
In helping a couple to stay together to promote strong family bonds, the Quran gives a few suggestions for those who wish to take heed.
Tip# 1 (Anticipate Events):
“If a woman fears separation or desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, ALLAH is fully Cognizant of everything you do.” (4/128)
A couple must do what is in their power to stop problems from getting out of hand. To do this there must be sacrifice and a lack of selfishness on behalf of both parties.
Tip# 2 (Try Various Methods BEFORE Divorce):
“The men are made responsible for the women by what ALLAH has preferred them over each other and for what they have spent of their monies. The righteous women will accept this arrangement, since it is ALLAH’s commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. And for those whom you fear separation, you shall: 1) try and talk to them, 2) abstain from the bed room, 3) separate from them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. ALLAH is Most High, Supreme.” (4/34)
Tip # 3 (Involve the Family):
“If you still fear a separation between them, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they wish to reconcile, ALLAH will help them. ALLAH is Omniscient, Cognizant.” (4/35)
Tip # 4 (Do NOT Let People Give You Bad Advice):
“And if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim, do not advise them against remarrying their husbands if they have reconciled amicably. This shall be heeded by those among you who believe in ALLAH and the Last Day. This is purer for you, and more righteous. ALLAH knows, while you do not know.” (2/232)
How many a home have been destroyed and a family separated because people decided to ignore ALLAH’s perfect system and let the words of men, scholars, and other innovators divert them from the only true path.
Stay with ALLAH, for that is where happiness lies.